Eleanor: “It’s given to and taken away from all of us.” –Awakenings
As with Lyme Disease or any chronic illness, there are days we feel stuck, like we are in a deep sleep, just like Lucy and the rest of the characters in the film. You realize how sick you are when your life becomes almost a distant memory. You just don’t want to let go of it. We need to believe us too, will experience an awakening, as well. To be able to live life again, maybe not like you use to, but to go out and enjoy the things you took for granted. You may not realize you did take those things for granted, at first, and that’s okay. When you’re stuck and you feel like this is it, this is really it, everything will just rush over you at once. How could you take those beautiful blue skies for granted? Or the flowers in the spring? The short walk to the store. I could keep going. The point is, we need to keep going. “Life never really ends, it just changes.” (Unknown)
I want to help others. I always want to be there for everyone around me, knowing just want to say. Family has suggestively said that maybe the medical field is where I need to be. I’ve thought about it myself, too. I went from wanting to be a veterinarian to a Pre-K teacher, to a physical therapist to a psychologist. My heart has currently been taken over by my love of marketing and advertising. I love graphic design and photography just as much and would love to put them all to good use. As you can see, I’ve taken up writing, as well. I did very poorly in all my English and literature classes, especially in high school when you couldn’t write about your cat or why your favorite color means so much to you. Simple things. I took to writing as an outlet these past few months, whenever I felt like I was going to break, when no one else would understand or know what to say. I would just write. Most days I can’t even focus my eyes on the screen. But when you have so much inside of you, so many things unsaid, the pain subsides for those few minutes. And in those few minutes, you’re also hoping you’ll be able to reach out to others who feel maybe even a sliver of what you’re experiencing. Or, maybe they won’t.
We have this chance to go out, live life and be something, anything that we choose. It may not always be easy, but just knowing we have that chance, can experience that chance…what else do you need to keep from giving up? An answer. Hope. An explanation why you were chosen to fight this disease on a daily basis. No one realizes how much you can learn by living, by not giving up. If you were given a second chance at life, not knowing whether you could be faced with yet another illness or not, wouldn’t you take that chance? I would. But I’m not going to think about the “what if’s”. I would just be happy for that moment in time, for that chance. Through both the good and the bad, we need to thank the ones that helped us get where we are today. “Hug and kiss whoever helped get you – financially, mentally, morally, emotionally – to this day. Parents, mentors, friends, teachers. If you’re too uptight to do that, at least do the old handshake thing, but I recommend a hug and a kiss. Don’t let the sun go down without saying thank you to someone, and without admitting to yourself that absolutely no one gets this far alone.” (Stephen King)
Maybe I was chosen this path to help others.
When you feel like you have nothing to hold on to, nothing left in your reach, you just need to reach a little higher or look besides you. There you will find hope, staring you right in the face.
I’ll leave you with yet another quote from the film, Awakenings:
“What we do know is that, as the chemical window closed, another awakening took place; that the human spirit is more powerful than any drug – and THAT is what needs to be nourished: with work, play, friendship, family. THESE are the things that matter. This is what we’d forgotten – the simplest things.”
Healing thoughts and prayers to all-