I’m still my father’s little girl, my mother’s best friend and my brother’s sister. I’m still your cousin, your niece and your granddaughter. I’m still the friend that will make you laugh and the friend that will always be there. I’m still the girl you can talk to about anything, the girl who will cry with you and tell you it’s going to be alright. I’m still the friend you can call up out of the blue and pick up right where we left off. I’m still the girl who will stick up for you, remind you of your strengths and tell you how much you matter. I’m still the friend that will always try and make everything okay, the friend that will gladly go out of their way for you and who will always try to make you smile. I’m still the friend who will always care about you, the friend you did everything with and the friend you considered a sister.
I’m still her.
I’m still me.
I’m the girl that hasn’t given up, the girl that battles Lyme Disease every single day and the girl who won’t go down without a fight. I’m the friend that is mostly confined to her bed, the friend who can’t help how she feels and the friend that doesn’t mean to keep losing touch. I’m the girl who just wants someone to love her through the good days and the bad days, the girl who is tired of being defined by others because of her illness and the girl who just wants to feel better again.
My name is Kate. I’m 26, I haven’t gone to college, the only relationship I have is with my bed (or sometimes the couch) and I’m trying to get back on my feet again after fighting Lyme Disease for most of my life.
Some of that may sound familiar since I originally wrote it in an earlier post back when I first started this blog. I wish my absence meant I’ve only been improving but, that’s unfortunately not the case. In the posts-to-come, I’ll be sure to update you on my continuous fight with Lyme and all the difficulties you must face dealing with a chronic illness such as the loss of friendships, relationships, independence and how many, many, many of us are not giving ourselves the credit we truly do deserve. We’re still fighting, we’re still here. That means something, right?
Most don’t have a clue what someone with a chronic illness goes through on a daily basis. We can’t help it if we can’t make it out of bed most days, are unable to eat, think clearly, hold a conversation, move without wincing in pain, always needing the bathroom, not feeling up to getting out of the house, glued to our heating pad, need the room dark because of a terrible migraine, so nauseous you can’t even speak, curled up in a ball because of intense stomach pain, hit the point of exhaustion where you just can’t keep your eyes open–and much more.
For those of you not familiar with my blog, it’s about how Lyme Disease both takes time from you as well as takes time to recover from. You can also expect posts about some of my favorite recipes as well as products I enjoy. I do take the time to share experiences on how numerous doctor appointments left me in tears, to friends and relatives not being able to understand. I know there is someone, somewhere who has yet to be diagnosed or recently was and honestly can’t find themselves more lost just as I once was. I still find myself lost a great deal of the time, but as the title of this post states, “I didn’t come this far to only come this far.” As I continue giving this fight my all, you can count on me being your voice as well as bringing much needed awareness to this truly controversial disease that continues to wreak havoc on so many lives each and every day.
You’re not alone.
“Strength grows in moments when you think you can’t go on but you keep going anyway.”
First off, apologies for posting late again. The past few days have been pretty eventful, to say the least. The kind of days that make you stop dead in your tracks and have you thinking, “Is this really happening?”
Whether the situation is good or bad, we can’t help but pause and take a step back to look at everything, to see how far we’ve come. You may be over-joyed by these events or worried about what could possibly go wrong, thinking even the worst thoughts imaginable.
Whether you find yourself on your knees or you’re just so very grateful for this moment in time, remember to keep your head up, always. If this moment has you thinking, “What if?”, keep your head up. If this moment has you feeling blessed, keep your head up.
Don’t look down when you were given eyes to only look forward. You will get through this.
I often talk about goals, and believe me they are incredibly important to the long-term realization of your vision. However, the attitude of the present is often overlooked. How can I get to my future goals? What do I need to do right now? What will be the end result? These are all fair questions to ask, but one of the first questions should be…Who do I have to be to accomplish this?
What is the mentality then? For me it is: Today, I am going to sacrifice for the betterment of tomorrow. This attitude has kept me in check for the longest time. It puts me in a place where I know I can overcome anything. I realize that any amount of pain I am current going through at take present moment can be overcome with the attitude of sacrifice. I expect the pain to come. I expect the…
I want to thank all my followers and anyone else who takes time out of their day to read my posts. I truly mean it when I say words cannot describe how much your feedback means to me and your never-ending support. All of you.
Starting this blog has definitely made such a positive difference in my life. I guess we all think no one is going to ever read what we have to say or what we think. Then, everything changes when you get your first comment, your first like, your first reblog, your first follower, and seeing the number of views right after you make a post. But even if I didn’t get comments, likes or any views–I’d still post, I would still try to be someone’s voice.
And that’s what I’ll continue to do. Thank you. Thank you for making someone who has felt so very helpless and lost, like she’s found home again. It’s because of you that she feels worth it. And not alone.
I hope I can do the same for you.
Happy Valentines Day, my friends. I hope love finds you not just today, but every day.