I’m still my father’s little girl, my mother’s best friend and my brother’s sister. I’m still your cousin, your niece and your granddaughter. I’m still the friend that will make you laugh and the friend that will always be there. I’m still the girl you can talk to about anything, the girl who will cry with you and tell you it’s going to be alright. I’m still the friend you can call up out of the blue and pick up right where we left off. I’m still the girl who will stick up for you, remind you of your strengths and tell you how much you matter. I’m still the friend that will always try and make everything okay, the friend that will gladly go out of their way for you and who will always try to make you smile. I’m still the friend who will always care about you, the friend you did everything with and the friend you considered a sister.
I’m still her.
I’m still me.
I’m the girl that hasn’t given up, the girl that battles Lyme Disease every single day and the girl who won’t go down without a fight. I’m the friend that is mostly confined to her bed, the friend who can’t help how she feels and the friend that doesn’t mean to keep losing touch. I’m the girl who just wants someone to love her through the good days and the bad days, the girl who is tired of being defined by others because of her illness and the girl who just wants to feel better again.
I may be her, but I’m still me.
Healing thoughts and prayers to all,
Posted in Chronic Illness, Depression, Health, Invisible Illness, Life, Love, Lyme Disease
Tagged accepting, age, alone, anger, anxiety, appreciation, burden, chronic fatigue, chronic illness, chronic pain, chronically ill, conquer, courage, decisions, depression, difficult, faith, family, fear, fibromyalgia, friendships, frustration, gastroparesis, happiness, helpless, hope, IBS, independence, inspiring, invisible illness, joy, keep your chin up, letting go, lost, love, lupus, lyme, lyme disease, make a difference, meant to be, memories, mental illness, moving on, never give up, not okay, pain, relationships, relief, rheumatoid arthritis, romance, scared, simple joys, strength, suffering, tension, thankful, the past, this too shall pass, thoughts, tough times, walls, what if, work in progress, worth it
It’s days like today that make me feel like I can conquer just about anything. Pain might have been a bit of a problem, but I got myself out of bed, had some coffee, and made it to Sunday Mass for the first time in months. The whole family didn’t go, just me and my mother, which was nice. We haven’t had much us time in a while. I also paid a visit to my grandmother who I haven’t seen since the week after Christmas. We had quite a few laughs as we always do, along with my aunt and uncle who were also there. Today was good.
It’s been a rough week, to say the least, so I’m very thankful for today. Very. If you follow my posts regularly, you’ll notice I didn’t post on the 17th. I know I said I would post something positive each day for a month, no matter what, but I’ve been overcome with such pain, I was unable to. All this suffering day in and day out, not seeming like we’ll ever catch a break, really weighs us down. We do get these “breaks” thrown at us every now and then. And we mustn’t put them off. If we feel up to it, that we can push ourselves with our pain at a bearable level, just go. Go after whatever your heart is desiring to do at that moment and don’t think twice about it, just do it. You’ll be glad you did.
I truly didn’t think today would have been such a great turnout considering the lack of sleep I struggled with the night before. It was a mixture of both pain and emotions that just took over and got the best of me. After today, I’m most definitely in a better light of things now, but know I will succumb to those thoughts and emotions again, only hopefully, it will hurt less.
I’ll leave you with part of a scripture that was read today during Mass that I think many of us need to remind ourselves of often; “Thus says the Lord: Remember not the events of the past, the things of long ago consider not.”
I sincerely hope you can rid yourself of any negative past events. Whether it means forgiving another, letting go, or making a different positive change in your life, no matter how hard it is to do, just know you are not alone. Look here or to others that have or are going through a similar situation. You’ll be surprised at the amount of understanding–and just being able to relate to someone.
Here’s to an even better tomorrow. Sending love and strength, always.
Healing thoughts and prayers to all-
Posted in Chronic Illness, Depression, Invisible Illness, Life, Lyme Disease, Religion, Uncategorized
Tagged chronic pain, faith, hope, lyme disease, pain, simple joys, strength, suffering, the past, tough times