Tag Archives: the past

I’m still me.

I’m still my father’s little girl, my mother’s best friend and my brother’s sister. I’m still your cousin, your niece and your granddaughter. I’m still the friend that will make you laugh and the friend that will always be there. I’m still the girl you can talk to about anything, the girl who will cry with you and tell you it’s going to be alright. I’m still the friend you can call up out of the blue and pick up right where we left off. I’m still the girl who will stick up for you, remind you of your strengths and tell you how much you matter. I’m still the friend that will always try and make everything okay, the friend that will gladly go out of their way for you and who will always try to make you smile. I’m still the friend who will always care about you, the friend you did everything with and the friend you considered a sister.

 

I’m still her.

 

I’m still me.

 

I’m the girl that hasn’t given up, the girl that battles Lyme Disease every single day and the girl who won’t go down without a fight. I’m the friend that is mostly confined to her bed, the friend who can’t help how she feels and the friend that doesn’t mean to keep losing touch. I’m the girl who just wants someone to love her through the good days and the bad days, the girl who is tired of being defined by others because of her illness and the girl who just wants to feel better again.

 

I may be her, but I’m still me.

 

 

Healing thoughts and prayers to all,

Kate

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Seeing The Good: Day 30

Today concludes the ‘Seeing The Good’ series. A whole month dedicated to posting positive thoughts, images, quotes, etc. To be honest, I didn’t think I would stick to it. There were days where just thinking about writing a post exhausted me. But I did it. And I’m glad I did.

Frustration, joy, anger, happiness. Long story short, it’s been a month of back-and-forth-and-back-and-forth. “That’s what life is: repetitive routines. It’s a matter of finding the balance between deviating from those patterns and knowing when to repeat them.”Joseph Gordon-Levitt Whether yet another doctor’s appointment left me without answers and in tears, or just being happy to have the energy to do my laundry, it has all been an experience. I’m very grateful that a recent ER visit for my mother ended up being minor when it could have been much worse. I’m also thankful for my father celebrating another birthday. He was diagnosed with Myocarditis when I was very young and he continues to prove doctors wrong each day. We have this moment and only this moment for sure. Cherish it, always.

I will no doubt learn from this past month more so than others, frankly because while the happening events were evolving, I was concentrating on the positive effects that they would have on me. And that, is a very difficult thing to do.“Life isn’t about what happens to you, it’s about how you handle what happens.” Maybe someone who is not suffering from a chronic illness will find that seeing the good is not that difficult at all. Or, maybe they’ll find that it is. I have always been the optimistic type, but pessimistic thoughts do seep in time to time, unfortunately getting the best of me. We all have our down moments. The best way to stay focus on the positive is to appreciate the little things in life. You’ll be surprised how such small acts of kindness take up the most room in your heart.

It’s been a difficult past few weeks, but sticking to this challenge made it all the more bearable, all the more worth it. “Life is about change, sometimes it’s painful, sometimes it’s beautiful, but most of the time it’s both.” From new followers to such supportive, kind-hearted comments, I sincerely can not thank you all enough for accompanying me by my side this past month. And I’ll continue to stay right by your side, and most importantly, being your voice.

Please feel free to leave your thoughts on the ‘Seeing The Good’ series and if that’s something you’d like to look forward to again. You’re welcome to suggest topics, ask questions, and I’m certainly up for other blog/sites/etc. recommendations, as well. I’m hoping to continue sticking to my goal of posting more often. You will definitely be hearing from me again soon.

Until then, Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of overcoming it.”Helen Keller

Healing thoughts and prayers to all,

Kate

Seeing The Good: Day 19

It’s days like today that make me feel like I can conquer just about anything. Pain might have been a bit of a problem, but I got myself out of bed, had some coffee, and made it to Sunday Mass for the first time in months. The whole family didn’t go, just me and my mother, which was nice. We haven’t had much us time in a while. I also paid a visit to my grandmother who I haven’t seen since the week after Christmas. We had quite a few laughs as we always do, along with my aunt and uncle who were also there. Today was good.

It’s been a rough week, to say the least, so I’m very thankful for today. Very. If you follow my posts regularly, you’ll notice I didn’t post on the 17th. I know I said I would post something positive each day for a month, no matter what, but I’ve been overcome with such pain, I was unable to.  All this suffering day in and day out, not seeming like we’ll ever catch a break, really weighs us down. We do get these “breaks” thrown at us every now and then. And we mustn’t put them off. If we feel up to it, that we can push ourselves with our pain at a bearable level, just go. Go after whatever your heart is desiring to do at that moment and don’t think twice about it, just do it. You’ll be glad you did.

I truly didn’t think today would have been such a great turnout considering the lack of sleep I struggled with the night before. It was a mixture of both pain and emotions that just took over and got the best of me. After today, I’m most definitely in a better light of things now, but know I will succumb to those thoughts and emotions again, only hopefully, it will hurt less.

I’ll leave you with part of a scripture that was read today during Mass that I think many of us need to remind ourselves of often; “Thus says the Lord: Remember not the events of the past, the things of long ago consider not.”

I sincerely hope you can rid yourself of any negative past events. Whether it means forgiving another, letting go, or making a different positive change in your life, no matter how hard it is to do, just know you are not alone. Look here or to others that have or are going through a similar situation. You’ll be surprised at the amount of understanding–and just being able to relate to someone.

Here’s to an even better tomorrow. Sending love and strength, always.

Healing thoughts and prayers to all-

Kate